Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Meet your future husband at the grocery store? LIES.

So, I read a lot of stuff on the interwebs. The other day I came across an article stating that some 10% or something of people meet their spouses in the grocery store. I am just throwing this out there, but that is a fucking lie.

At least for me it is. I go to the grocery lookin tore up. I wear the things I affectionately title my house pants (used to belong to my cousin.........who is 6'2) and smoking shoes (10+ year old Vans). Combing hair is optional. Make up, never required.

And if I am not in my why are these seeing the light of day clothes, I am in my work clothes. But I can't imagine anyone would want to talk to me. There are only one of two reasons I would be at the grocery in my work clothes. 1. I am really, really fucking hungry and I am about to go home and KILL whatever is in my basket. 2. I really, really need a drink. In both scenarios, people are safer to stay the hell out of my way.

How does one even hit on someone in a grocery store? I see you also buy the off brand Kroger yogurt....have you tried the new banana cream pie? Lame. Plus, most people need a little booze to chat anyway. And while you can go to the grocery store drunk (it's an adventure), it isn't exactly socially acceptable.

Which brings me here in my stream of conscience-happy hour at the grocery store. For real, they should encourage people chatting and drinking. Maybe throw in a food demonstration. Who wouldn't love a socially acceptable way to treat their local grocery like a bar?

I hope it happens in my lifetime.

1 comment:

  1. you are welcome for the pants! Although, since they came from me, the mens who come up and talk to you will not be wanting anything more than a laugh out of you!

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