Men....and Pick up lines

I'm not the prettiest girl in the world. I'm rather plain. However, that does not stop men from talking to me.

I've gotten some doozies in my day. Once a man at a bar (go figure) asked me "What do men usually say to pick you up?" Yes, let me do your job for you. Perhaps I can make it even easier and just get in your car and take off my underwear. Dumbass. 

The grocery store seems like a better place to be, less obvious than a bar. But no. I once had a guy siddle up to me and begin discussing cat food with me. In detail. The food his cats would and WOULDN'T eat. It wasn't attractive at all. Get a manly dog or some shit. Don't tell me about your cat.

People can get creative too. This is the best. I went to WalMart (I know, it's like I'm asking to meet weird people) to do some cheap shopping. I'm shuffling through the aisles, doin my thing, when a man walking by kind of eyeballs me and my cart. You can tell when someone is about to say something to you. He started cheesing, inhaled and said "Hey ma, I see you have brown rice. Do you like your men like you like your rice?" I was stunned. Usually I have some witty come back, but I just stood there, slack jawed. I wanted to say "NO"! But would that imply I was racist? I definitely don't want to be viewed as racist. At the same time, I didn't want to encourage this dude. I think I just stammered a stream of "No...well, not always...sometimes, I have, but....."

Best Practice: Just say "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm a lesbian."