Match Rejected My Profile Update

So, after I saw the dating profile of he who must not be named, I thought about trying out Match again. Only to find that I fucked up in the whole canceling thing and still had it. I recanceled it, but I still have it for another month or so. I decided to have a little fun. And to just be honest. So, I made this the main piece in my Match.com profile:

I am exhausted by these things. Yes, I am happy go lucky, out going. I like to go out or stay in. But, everyone writes that shit in their profiles. Everyone tries to church up their personality and who they are, putting this fake person on the internet, when we could all just be real in these things and stop wasting everyone else's time.

I graduated from college. I want to get a masters, but I bombed the math portion of the GRE. Thinking of next steps.

I like to drink. Not like get wasted and throw up on you while crying about how you don't love me. But I like to drink vodka tonics until I am jovial and feeling extra great and wonderful. I even like to light up a cigarette sometimes when I have some drinks. That is a deal breaker for a lot of people, so I am going to stop pretending like I don't for the sake of looking better on the internet.

I don't eat meat. I don't care if you do.
If you don't have a college education and/or have kids, don't bother contacting me and I won't bother you.
I don't want to date someone overly religious. I go through periods of time when I don't even believe in God.
If you don't like to go down, we are not sexually compatible and you can move on now.

I am not the prettiest girl in the world, but I am not ugly. I'll give back rubs and bring you beers while you watch football. I go to the gym, but I am not ashamed to eat a bunch of food in a group of people. I'm goofy. I like my own jokes. I read way too much news and nonfiction. I write a blog. I volunteer. I have my own money and won't trip if we go dutch on a date. I can get ready in 15 minutes. I don't like to shop. I don't mind video games as long as it isn't obsessive. I have 2 fantasy football teams. I have a limited ability to sew. I have a tattoo.

Did you read this far? You must be bored. :)

Here is the response I received from Match:

Unfortunately, we are unable to approve it at this time because of content that could be considered offensive or otherwise inappropriate by some of our members. Please update your profile and resubmit for approval.

Now, I know that online dating involves an awful lot of rejection. But this is like a new level. Now, even the SITE rejected me. I can't decide if it was for the use of the word shit or the reference to oral sex. We'll see. I changed the shit to stuff, but left in the oral sex. Come on Match.com, that shit is important to me!

In all honesty, this cracked me up. I stopped taking this seriously a long time ago.