I HATE online dating. Because I hate a lot of people based on really superfluous (shallow) things. I could hate the way he laughs. The way he holds his beer. His total presence. Plus, the interwebs is crawling with shy dudes and there is nothing that disgusts my vagina more than a man who lacks a pair and won't speak up. You can hide all these things so well on the internet, because you just message someone.........so you can pretty much be the person you hope you are.
I want to meet a mother fucker when they are in their full glory of who they are-not who they want to be on the internet. I want to already know I am attracted to someone. Not vaguely think so from some pictures that might be like 5 years old before you put on those 30 lbs and started losing your hair. Ick. And I want someone to like me for me too. I don't want to be walking on egg shells about the fact that I drink A LOT and smoke cigarettes sometimes while doing so. I want someone who already knows that about me and likes it. Or at least tolerates it. I want someone who has been around me and knows I'm pretty weird.
Plus, internet dudes are weird and not in the cool way I am weird.. Like, yea, I can see why you aren't dating anyone, creep. I was talking to this one dude for a LONG ass time. He asked me to hang out 3 times. Once he invited me to his house (WTF dude, I don't even know you) and twice he invited me to a movie.....on a Sunday night at like 9........Can't we just make plans ahead of time? I don't even know you and your first impression of me can't be Sunday Theresa. I would at least like time to take a shower. WTF. Then this dude had the nerve to tell me he thought I was scared of him...........men are fucking idiots. I got pretty sassy and he stopped talking to me. I'm really not trippin.
Seriously, online dating makes me so depressed about being single, because it makes my options look like they SUCK. Then I worry that I suck for being on there. So I quit, at least until I'm 30!
Update: I hate online dating because these are the kind of people who contact me:
That guy is the undisputed master of the question mark.
ReplyDeletehaha, but Theresa he can help you remedy the desire to be more than what you are! Obviously, look at that face! He is obviously a messenger angel.
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